darragh murray

It is not the critic who counts

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A place where I can write irrelevant anecdotes that make me sound like a pretentious git.

For some unknown reason, one of my absolute pet peeves is overhearing somewhat empty conversations in elevators. Monday is the worse, where collegues sit and talk about their rather uninspiring weekends spent doing rather mundane house alterations and wandering the aisles at Bunnings warehouse. Perhaps it is jealousy that these people seem to be leading more fulfilling lives than me at the moment, considering that my weekends seem to made up of copious amounts of alcohol, hangovers, and never-ending Deadwood viewings.

Hey, maybe i’ll pen a song about this, sorta like a Jens Lekman number. Hrm.

10 Responses to “Elevator Blues”

  1. It’s not jealousy: Bunnings is dull and hearing this conversation second hand in an elevator is certain to make the most together person want to poke out their eyeball with a fork.
    My solution: work on the 1st floor of a building. Or surround yourself with colleagues who talk about complex legal issues in elevators (waiting in cafes, walking along the street etc) which is so boring that no-one ever dares eavesdrop.

    Elsa

  2. Complex legal issues is even worse…I think the whole problem that people want to seem wanky in lifts, they say to themselves “hey those people on the third floor must think I’m the man!”

    daz

  3. …or woman, depending on gender.

    daz

  4. or maybe they are just so engrossed in their own Bunning dilemma/complex legal issue that they don’t really give a shit who is listening to them, or how they come across. Why lifts, anyway?

    Elsa

  5. Because the lift should be a silent place of contemplation. Contemplation for the work day ahead.

    daz

  6. I agree wholeheartedly, strict silence should be observed. Also I think you should contemplate more weighty subjects, like life and death, and stuff.

    moss

  7. Moss, your comment is appreciated. I will endevour to write about more serious issues like abortions, euthanasia, and paddle pops.

    daz

  8. No your subject matter is fine, I was just referring to what you should contemplate while in the elevator, something along the lines of “Gee I’m going to die someday, yet here I am standing around in a lift.”

    moss

  9. Lol, thats hilarious. I could imagine turning around to a fellow lift person and saying

    “Is this really a lift, or are we simply standing in a room with the building moving around us?! ANSWER ME”

    daz

  10. Remind me never to hop into a lift with you…

    Elsa

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